Transition. Wether we are speaking about moving, a new job or the end of a relationship, all of these major life changes have this in common. They may not be created equal, but for sure they bring along similar feelings: stress, anxiety, fear…something comprehensive if we see them as what they are: a big shift.
I have gathered some of the ways to find peace in the middle of a significant transformation, no matter what you’re going through, which have been useful for me:
1. Your identity is not tied up in labels.
If you feel baffled to lose a part of your identity because of a massive life change, know it is perfectly normal. You’ll need plenty of time to rebuild whatever comes next, so don’t rush it. Practice self-care in the form of whatever fills your cup—working out, delicious food, therapy, extra naps, animal cuddles—and trust that you’re more than the role you used to hold.
2. It’s OK to grieve your loss.
When change occurs, even if you wanted it to happen, you gotta go through four big emotions: denial, anger, sadness, and finally, acceptance. Uprooting your life as you once knew it can be downright painful. That’s why we typically try to rush the acceptance part fast, rather than confronting negative emotions and trusting it’ll get easier over time.
Its OK to take your time to accept what happened, cry over it -if necessary- and then, turn page.
3. Change happens for a reason.
Maybe we can not appreciate it directly, but when we look back, I’m 100% sure that all dots will connect.
With any major transition, there’s always a point—usually when you’re in the thick of the agony of starting over or trying again—where you want your old life back. It is vital to remind yourself of the facts. When you start to drift into maybe it could’ve been different land, give yourself a big reality check. And whether you made the decision at hand, or it was completely out of your hands, focus on the truth.
Example: If a relationship ended, it wasn’t working. End of story. Move on.
4. When one door closes, another opens.
It just takes time. Even if we wanted, it is impossible to always stay at the same point. Heraclitus said it already out loud: the only constant is change.
Change usually requires you to try something new and completely out of your comfort zone. It is hard. But you never know where it’ll lead you and how it’ll help you evolve as an individual. Amid a big transition, cultivate an attitude adjustment of imagining the possibilities rather than stressing about the challenges.
5. An attitude of grace and flexibility builds resilience.
Moving into a new phase of your life requires grace and flexibility; it will not happen perfectly or all at once. The point is that you’re trying to shift forward and put yourself out there. Keep reflecting and learning from each bit of effort, because there’s a lesson in every experience. Say to yourself daily: “You know what, I’m doing my best” and “That didn’t work, so I’ll figure out a different option.”
Based on an article from J.Delitt